Raising third culture kids

Photo credit: Tati Negrão - Phuket, Thailand

The term “TCK” stands for Third Culture Kid. Dr. Ruth Useem introduced it in the 1980s, but it has recently been refined by David C. Pollack, Ruth Van Reken, and Michael V. Pollack in their book, Third Culture Kids: The Experience of Growing Up Among Worlds. This is a fantastic book for understanding the challenges and blessings of growing up multi-culturally, or without barriers.

The definition of Third Culture Kid is that TCKs are people raised in a culture other than their parents or the culture of the country named on their passport for a significant part of their life. The term may also apply to adults who live part of their life in different countries.

Moving to different places can be necessary for several reasons, like an escape from conflict zones or poverty, personal needs, love, family influences, to be closer to nature, political ideas, missionary work, and job opportunities.

When you first think about moving overseas, you should have an open mind to understand that the places where you will stay could be different from what you used to see, and, sometimes, people will behave differently from you. And this is fine; in the end, it is just a different perspective or distinct situation. A friend once told me, “There are many ways to skin a cat.” This means you can find several solutions to a problem.

Research shows us that there are many benefits to living overseas during one’s childhood; kids become more independent, tolerant of changes, more flexible regarding diverse situations, and more adaptable to a different environment, and they accept challenges naturally. Obviously, nothing is perfect, so there will be times when they will have to say goodbye, get out of their comfort zones, experience discrimination, and lose their identity. But if you think genuinely, you will find more pros than cons.

We have been in China for a little more than two years, and our experience has been amazing. Our kids are enjoying each day since we landed in Guangzhou. We can observe how much they have grown culturally, supporting each other, becoming close brothers; they are learning the local language and can already communicate using basic vocabulary.

I firmly believe our decision to leave Brazil was well planned. We see the benefits of the opportunities we are creating for our boys to travel, make new friends, and learn Mandarin, which I believe will be fundamental for them in the future. These opportunities include being exposed to unfamiliar environments, learning through different experiences, and being encouraged to explore their abilities and recognize their weaknesses, help others, and be kind.

We just started our international journey, and we are doing all we can to not only teach our kids but provide them with learning opportunities so they can explore, try, fail, try again, and learn from their mistakes, share their learning experiences, and take advantage of their expertise to help people and become good citizens.        

Life is short, and we should not leave for tomorrow what can be done today. Through this experience, we are building an active family with excellent, healthy habits and family values, enjoying our time, and continuing on our journey of learning, sharing, and inspiring.